* OK Guestbook people! Hello & Good Morning to all of you happy folk. To Beth and Vampire kid.... What's the deal with dissing my school? (yeah, sure it isn't perfect) If I were to put it in my words- "Your education is less of the school, and even less of the other students and ALL about you." So if you can't apply yourself to do good... There's no one else to blame. I'm glad both of you are getting along philosophically. Adios

Well, today I will stray from the ordinary. First of all, I'm trying to figure out the TRUTH BEHIND OLD PEOPLE: but I have struggled to find a solid fact to base things on. For example, today this old lady couldn't reverse her car... So she blamed it on me (cussed me out) since I happened to be the only parked car with a human inside. I'm sure she was venting her frustration at losing her driving ability... But kids, when you get old. Please don't chew out teenagers- not everyone has had as many years as you to learn the finer things in life. So this is the time for reader interaction where you would post your comments about the truth behind grumpy old people. *If it's good, I'll use it!

The Truth Behind Movies:
Some may ask, why is it that guys like action movies, and girls like romance? Of course many of you intelligent readers already know the answer to this.... It's all about ENVY. See, guys like the action because they say "I wish the whole world's future rest upon the skills of my trigger finger." Wanting to be able to do honorable deeds like saving women in distress, rescuing people of unspeakable value, and defending their honor and pride. Action actors don't have to look that nice.... Bulky enough to hold high powered weapons, and gentle enough to know when to save women, but there's nothing wrong with that. Romance envy is another story. Ever notice that both starring roles are picture-perfect couples? It's all about looks. Girls get into this more because they wanna be like the girl. (maybe not because of the looks) but because the H-O-T-T guy with (no time spent at a job) and all the sweet (fabricated) lingo spends $$ and unlimited time on the girl. (sure, that may be a bit selfish, but nothing too bad). But the envy turns to obsession, then the girl feels like she's alone and wanting in this world.... so they must go to another movie and see another romance so they can put themselves in the woman's shoes and think "yeah it can happen." I have no reason to pick on girls, I'm sure that some guys wish they were a guy in one of the romance movies..... but the fact that guys don't prefer romance suggests that guys envy pride and honor instead.

*Side note to guestbook- I'm sorry the truth makes you uncomfortable. And I never said anything about front students having less than 4.0 (why would they? the teacher think's they deserve them) So yeah, that's also why I sit in the front row. A 4.0 isn't that hard to come by.... try a doctorate or something, that will impress me. lol. Until then, keep up the good work... and try not to fall into the "front row" student stereotype of being uptight about grades, blaming the teacher for your failures, and feeling that the more you talk relates to the smarter you are- it doesn't, it's a compensation. Take Care & Good luck!

The Truth Behind 99 Cents Stores:
Have you ever wondered why 99 cent stores exist?!? I used to think it had something to do with over-stocked items, and being the Mecca of plastic toys. Do you really think they make a living off re-selling plastic forks? The real reason 99 cent stores are in existence is to rip-off the lower class citizens. Get this, most of the stores have DEALS with larger companies... See, Stores like Learner New York exist to suck up large bills that are "floating" around in people's pockets.... But after a sweater gets bought at a store like that, the customer must down-size to a partner store that caters to the middle class such as Walmart because they can't afford a $200 sweater. At Walmart a customer can buy larger amounts of goods... Yet they still walk out of the store with pocket change and small bills. Now the 99 cent stores take advantage of these poor individuals and squeeze them dry of any worthwhile pennies they carry. Thus the person goes home with a bunch of useless junk, and not enough money to support their family. It is the alliance of the commercial corporations with 99 cent stores that produces poor and homeless families. Sound strange? Yeah, just wait until they open up a Penny-or-Less store.

The Truth Behind Fish & Toilets:
It is a common misconception that all drains lead to the ocean, or even that the sewer is where to set your dead fish free. Has anyone really gone down the toilet and deemed it a safe and humane journey for fish?! I think not. Depending on the size of your toilet, a small little fish will begin by absorbing the weight of 8-12 gallons of pressure as wicked little jets of water force the animal into tight spirals at vomit producing speeds. Next take a look at the back of your toilet.... It's not a simple 45 degree slide down to the depths, it's a whitewater nightmare filled with kinks, twists, and undulating drop offs. Once free of the porcelain madness, the golden blur will travel at break-neck velocities until finally it meets up with the larger drains that run underground. These larger drains are no safe haven, creatures of unknown proportions lye in ambush waiting for some uncaring fish owner to flush away a life. The poor fish is pounded by perpetual waves, floating debris, and metal grates. If this wasn't enough, the fish finally makes it to "the plant" where it is welcomed by a fountain launch 6 feet in the air and a face-plant into rock hard surface tension. The poor creature will spend months in this place (the atrocities I will not utter) but in the end the fish will lose out, and never be able to experience the ocean. (oh, and by the way... If the little fresh water fish did make it to the ocean his gills would burn from the high concentration of salts, and he'd cry out in pain.) So the next time you think about flushing a fish.... Stop- Think- and show heart by using the trash can.

I was thinking.... why do people like cats?!? what good are they to humans?.... In all reality, I think a bee should replace cats as the second most popular household pet.
Here are my top 5 reasons:
#5 - Bees don't claw furniture.
#4 - They are easy to train, and take up little space.
#3 - They will actually work for you, and they wont just make a good door stop.
#2 - Have you ever had to "pick up" after a bee? I doubt it
#1 - Bees are cuddly and soft, but they dont have the annoying cry.

Ok, so maybe there's controversy over the whole smart people thing. (if you have comments let me know!)... Anyways. I was listening to some girls talk, and then saw a commercial, then heard some guys talk and realized something else.
THE TRUTH BEHIND COLOGNE:
I had always thought guys wore cologne because they liked the smell. (some would even pour it on for non-special occasions). Yet, it's not the guys at all who chose the smell or brand, it's girls. The #1 buyer of men's cologne is girls (obviously for their male friends). I hear more girls talking about cologne that I hear guys talking about them (I guess the new one is AXE or something). Then I see this commercial and although a muscled guy wearing no shirt is in there, it's the woman who is making the big deal about the cologne - as if the guy is special to HER because of the cologne. Then I heard some guys complaining that they have all these bottles of cologne they don't wear, but their girlfriends keep buying it for them. So really it should be called "women's cologne"- and just sold as a "gift for your guy."
(the mathematical equation for you non-math people is this... Girl see + girl buy= Guy wear.)

Alright, I'm back (it was a busy few days of testing going on.)
but while my mind wasn't entrenched in study and memorization I found out a very helpful truth. This truth is THE TRUTH BEHIND SMART STUDENTS.
*the key word is "behind". See, in classes at school... the smart people really dont sit in the front row. (I know that's what teachers try to lead you to believe... but hear me out). The smart people sit in the 2nd or 3rd row usually.... the front row is composed of students who aren't smart enough, so they need to trick their teachers and their fellow students into thinking they are the smartest. (it's really an ego thing- the front row that is). So smart students sit in the 2nd or 3rd row, where they get enough attention from teachers to be asked questions and still avoid the spit and spew of excited teachers. The students in the back are also smart kids (the only non-smart people are inbetween) But the back is reserved for students who want more challenge to their learning. (in essence they are pushing themselves harder than anyone in the class) because they must multi task. (which includes listening to the teacher, avoiding paper wads, keeping a conversation with their neighbor, and listening to the music of the kid in row #4). So there you have it... the true layout of smart kids in school.

Ok, to let my committed readers know I hear what you say, I'll dedicate today's post to the issue surrounding STARBUCKS. First of all, Starbucks incorporated is involved in a global plot to take over the world. They started with the big cities and then starting converting the smaller cities to their haven's of "buisness" (or so they call it). Until recently I was an Anti-Starbucks person. First and foremost I dont like coffee... so to think someone was charging outrageous prices for the stuff just made me sick. Secondly, the had their Global Domination plot (which was interfering with my plots...) so I just couldn't have that could I? But then my hard heart started to change. After a few of my friends got decent-paying jobs w/ benifits and transferal agreements. Also, recently they started donating money to Charities (and to me that is a huge deal). But then they finally built one in my home town (which made me think they we're going a bit to far).... until.... they offered free goods to the Salvation Army. Since my family is the 24/7 hotline and buisness end of the Salvation Army for south county we benifit from their donations of food and such. So each day we get bag loads of items (more than we can eat- so everyone we meet, and everywhere we go we leave a bag of Starbucks goodies). So yeah. My opinion and Anti-sentimism has change due to overwhelming evidence.... (but honestly, I think they did it all just to shut me up!)

Well I'm glad to hear that some of you agree (or disagree) with my findings... hey, at least someone's reading this page! *please remember that all assumptions,over-simplifications, and categories DO NOT include everyone I know... but it would take me hours to list out who is on my "clank-clank" list, and who isn't. So I will be more general... if you dont apply, let me know and I'll include you on my less general list! (but I'm tellin' ya.... the truth is out there- If I told you EVERYTHING I knew you'd be blown away in disbelief) (o=
As far as the "Jay" thing is involved. (well it's sort of a secret see....) I spell my Initials "Jay Kay"- J.K. instead of ever writing my real name and such on things. So months ago when I signed up (I had no clue what this blog thing was) So ofcourse I gave my alternative name and address just incase they wanted to send me junk mail or whatever. So yeah, then I realized it would get stuck as my "name" so I was like "darn, the secret is out." Anyways, see I'm just full of secrets....

The Truth Behind 7-up Bottle Caps:
Have you ever wondered why the bottle caps once blatantly stated "sorry, you're a looser" but have recently become a jumble of letters and numbers? Either way, the truth behind 7-Up is a cruel mystery. First of all, the change was NOT due to law suits against the company for destroying the psyche of unstable persons. Rather, the caps are really complex obscenities disguised as "winning combinations". Through a mock trial, I was able to trace the destination of my "possible winning combination".... To my dismay it ended up being a foul message that was decoded into a 1 paragraph e-mail which in turn was sent to rival companies such as Sprite (which belongs to Pepsi Inc.) Do you get it?!?! Pepsi is using mindless people who fill out online entry forms to do their dirty work. You think that's sad? I dare you to see what I discover tomorrow!

The Truth Behind Water Fountains:
Today I was doing some menial research on water quality among school fountains. (a.ka. searching for the best drinking fountain.) It turns out I stumbled across yet another commonly excused tragedy of life. See, we often are led to believe that school water fountains must always have poor quality water pumping through the unsanitary stained steel nozzle. Why? Some claim it's the city water, other's claim it's old pipes, or a lack of budget. However, the real reason we aren't getting Aquafina quality water ebbs from a midget union crisis in the fall of 1929. Somewhere the midget's grievances were not being heard so they discontinued their manufacturing of high-quality H20 dispensers. When the government (rather the board of education) got involved, the manufacturing union was forced to reinstate their production lines. The secret behind all of this is, in order to spurn the government and save the union some funds, they began using crude oil filters as replacements to liquid-osmosis filters, while disguising the labels. Since then all water fountains contain oil filters in disguise and thus we end up with poor quality water in ALL school drinking fountains. (just thought you'd all like to know).

Ok, I've been doing some observation on people. (just in case you're wondering- yeah I'm watching you too!) j/k. Anyways, I found out this.... The true reason girls wear those high-heels(a.k.a. sad excuses for shoes) to school and around average places is to get noticed. But unlike popular belief, it's not to get notices by being a few inches taller, nor is it to get notices by having bigger calves.... the truth behind the matter is really the noise! Without the clank-clank of the high-heels most girls wouldn't wear them. The "clank-clank" is really a subliminal message calling "look at me... I'm noisy... but look at me." Thus, this is how we have come to believe that high-heels are a good accessory if one wants to get notices.

Ok ok ok.... Here's the deal, I will post until my heart is content. Unless otherwise stated expect more entries from me from now on. I have two upcoming series... The first I dropped because a recent guestbook entry has informed me that there are MORE reasonable girls (that being girls that aren't crazy about male celebrities) that I had previously imagined.... so my evil plan wont work at all. (Thanks a lot!) Ok... so maybe I'll use one of my older plans which are previously listed. My next series of entries will inspire the multitudes and earn me my first Nobel Prize. - if It doesn't, dont worry.... I'll create some other awe inspiring/ prize winning entries. To put it lightly, this page will soon put all those other blogs to shame!

Alright Folks, I got a new guestbook (since the old one quit on me) Feel free to write in it about whatever you wish. That is if anyone even reads this page anymore!

Keeping it Real,
J-Dawg