Dating 1B

Aiight, last post on dating for a while... I can't risk giving the impression that I'm a dating fanatic. In fact, I haven't dated... what authority do I have to give advice you say? None- but trust me, if you use my advice you'll have dates that you'll never forget!
#1. It's ok to be a little late, your date wont be ready anyways (especially if it's a make-up saleswoman)
#2. Forget giving dying roses and such, potted plants will last longer- much like your love for her right?!
#3. Fast food is a good place to go... you can spend less time waiting for food, and more time chatting with your lover.
#4. Avoid bodily contact... even if it means sitting ackward, if their love language isn't "touch" this will be a smart move I'm sure.
#5. Lastly, Pickup lines do work- try them, you'll get a cute smile and a harsh reply- but that's their way of saying "thanks for noticing".