How To Get Rid Of An Unwanted Guest

Everyone has those annoying unwanted guests who wake them up early in the morning with a "surprise visit" to their house. Here's some advice if you struggle with these kinds of relationships:
#1. Begin spring cleaning (no matter what season it is)... Most guests will opt out on the cleaning, and be repulsed by the dust and disorganization that they may leave.
#2. You can fake a phone call that their house has been vandalized (or perhaps send a trusted friend to do some vandalizing on your own).
#3. If you own a set of Bagpipes, an Accordion, or any other ridiculously loud instrument- begin practicing them at 2:00 in the morning.
#4. Ever heard of a cyanide pill and a quick trip to the local harbor? (neither have I, I just saw it in a movie- and it worked!)
Well there you have it folks, choose any one or more of these simple steps and remove those pesky pests!