How To Shoot Par Golf

Besides being an extremely boring sport to watch on T.V. Golf is an extremely difficult sport to win championships or to be as good as Tiger Woods.
To Improve your game follow the simple steps:
A: Never Tee off with an Iron... Forget using clubs, use a baseball bat for driving and pool cues for the green.
B: Put Nitro on your golf cart so you can beat everyone else to your ball's location, then use Step C:
C: Don't be afraid to play "soccer" with the golf ball if it happens to be lying in an undesired location. (The occasional pitch with the hand always improves your final score).
D: Have your blind friend keep track of your score.
E: Never tell your blind friend that you did worse than par for the hole.
F: Never tell anyone else your friend is blind.
With those simple steps your game should dramatically improve and you too can be the next "Tiger Woods".